Handing Over the Holidays: Agreeing Christmas Contact and Travel Consent in 2026

The Christmas period places unusual pressure on separated families. School terms end, routines loosen, relatives visit, and expectations — often unspoken — run high. Arrangements that work comfortably during term time can become strained when the question of who has the children on Christmas Day arises. Sorting matters out early, in writing, and with the children's interests at the centre, prevents most of the difficulty.

Begin with dates rather than decorations

School term dates vary across England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, and academy trusts sometimes set their own. Obtain the confirmed dates from each child's school before you discuss anything else, then work out what the holiday actually looks like: how many days each parent might reasonably have, which days matter most to each family, and when travel is planned.

Aim to have the broad shape agreed by the end of November. Leaving it until mid-December tends to produce rushed decisions, and rushed decisions tend to be revisited resentfully in January.

What a workable Christmas plan contains

A parenting plan does not need to be a legal document, but it should be specific enough that nobody has to guess. Useful headings include:

• The division of the holiday — for example, the first part with one parent and the second with the other, or alternating Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day, with the pattern reversing the following year so that neither parent always misses out.
• Handover times and places — the exact time, the exact address, and who does the travelling. Neutral public locations are often easier than a doorstep.
• New Year arrangements, particularly where the holiday runs across 2026 into 2027.
• Presents — whether they travel with the children, and where they are opened.
• Contact with the other parent — a call or video call at an agreed time, arranged around the children's routine rather than the adults' convenience.
• Routines and needs — bedtimes, medication, dietary requirements, and any additional needs the other parent should know about.
• What happens if plans change, including who to tell and how quickly.

Put the agreement in writing, even if only by email or message. A parenting plan is not automatically enforceable, but courts do take account of arrangements that parents have previously reached, and a written record removes much of the scope for dispute about what was said.

Consent letters for travel abroad

Many families use the Christmas break for a trip overseas. Where a child is travelling with one parent, or with grandparents or another adult, it is wise — and sometimes essential — to carry written consent from anyone else with parental responsibility.

A well-drafted consent letter should state the child's full name, date of birth and passport number; the destinations and dates of travel; flight or booking details and accommodation; the name and contact details of the accompanying adult; and the consenting parent's own contact details, with a signature and date. Some countries require the letter to be notarised or translated, so check the destination's entry requirements well in advance.

Border Force officers may ask questions about the purpose and duration of a trip, and a clear letter avoids an awkward conversation at the airport. It is also worth remembering that a consent letter is not a court order: it can be withdrawn, and it does not resolve any underlying disagreement about the trip.

Two related points frequently arise. First, applying for a child's first British passport normally requires the consent of everyone with parental responsibility, or a court order dispensing with it. Second, if a Child Arrangements Order provides that the child lives with you, you may generally take the child abroad for up to four weeks without the other parent's consent — but this does not override any Prohibited Steps Order, and longer trips or relocation require proper advice.

When the other parent will not agree

Disagreement is common, and it is rarely really about the dates. Where conversation has stalled, mediation is usually the sensible next step; it is quicker, cheaper and less corrosive than court, and a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting is generally required before most family court applications anyway.

If mediation does not resolve matters, an application can be made for a Specific Issue Order — for example, to permit a particular holiday — or, where there is a risk of a child being removed from the country, a Prohibited Steps Order. Timing matters: the court's availability over the festive period is limited, so applications should be made well before December. Urgent applications are possible where a genuine risk exists, but they are not a substitute for planning.

Keeping the arrangements child-focused

Children generally cope well with two Christmases when the adults around them seem comfortable with the arrangement. A few principles help. Do not use children to pass messages between parents. Reassure them that both parents want to see them, and that the plan for the other days is settled. Avoid competing on presents or making children feel responsible for an adult's disappointment. Where grandparents and wider family are involved, build their visits into the plan rather than around it.

It also helps to keep a simple written record of what was agreed and how handovers went. Should matters escalate later, a clear chronology is far more useful than recollection.

If there are concerns about a child's safety, including any risk that they may not be returned from a trip, take advice immediately rather than waiting for the holiday to begin.

How we can help

Our family team at Miah Solicitors advises parents on contact arrangements, parenting plans, consent letters and court applications, always with an eye on what will actually work for the children. If you would like help putting a Christmas arrangement in writing, or in resolving a disagreement that has stalled, please get in touch.